Featured immages




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I spent New Years eve sitting here at my fathers computer. Most years Mother has this idea it will be the second comeing so i'm atleast aloud to sit with them but this year I couldnt stand that again. Wateing for them to have thair paradise and have all the flaws they saw in thair own children 'corrected and made perfect' I just couldnt stand it. So if there wasnt that there was litraly spending the new years alone and talking to no one. I'm beyond sad. So it was over and nothing happend no second comeing no god come to earth. I didnt expect it but the parants might have. I just wanted a hug from someone I could just lean on. I wont even get that.
Oh yay another new year.
I always said i'd give up the bloody balanceing act each year. Four people that supposely want just my future to be nice... They all have thair own ideas and they all conflict alot. And those people are my close famaily. My mum and dad and brother and sister. All obviously older than me. I cant take this balanceing act anymore and this year I'll get out of it one way or the other. Only one rule here though I wont screw up anyone elses life to do it.
If I have to live like this anymore and have every half deacent thing I do taken away from me and ruind and being trapped in here I'll go nuts. I dont want to go nuts because me going nuts isnt a good thing for anyone. I'm already starting to go a bit nuts seeing as i'm sitting here trying to ocupy myself when I dont have any of my projects and the means for makeing them is completely broke.
I need my computer I need my life and I need to be me!
Each year I say this and I never get it no matter how hard I work for it something always gets to me like getting sick or something but I need it this year.
Well the first few days of this crappy year suck. I'm probably going to go to bed and sleep again purely out of boardom. Something has to change.
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